How to Say ‘No’

Continuing the topic about being assertive in a relationship here are 7 tips to disagree if you don’t like something. To become a good no-man the following advices are for you:

1. Tell your opinion even in small things!
Most relationship problems are about small stuff. Those who does not nod to everything prevent small differences grow into to big problems. In addition, it creates an atmosphere of openness if you are not hiding for yourself your small stuff. Finally, even small problems can only be solved if they are discussed.

2. Do not insist on a simple ‘no’!
If you reject something it always requires an explanation.

3. Send We and I messages!
If you won’t like to go to visit his mother because you do not understand each other well, you say it in this way: “We have a problem: your mother has done that and that what hurts me.”

4. Say definite ‘no’ if you mean it!
Use positive statements. Say what you would prefer and avoid negative sentences with “not”.

5. Keep to the truth!
And avoid excuses because if you don’t want to go to cinemas at the evening then don’t pretend that you have migraine.

6. Be objective!
The core point of a constructive dispute should be the behavior of your partner that course you problems – not the type a person he is in your opinion. General accusations as “you’re a totally dominant man and always want to define my life” lead to nothing. The more precise your statements are the better.

7. Do not get out off the topic!
If you have different opinion by money matters than your partner, do not leave it till later to discuss. If your partner dodges the topic bring him back to the essence.