Bored with your Partner: How to Cope?

When two people meet, and fall in love everything seems possible, surmountable, including partner’s disadvantages. His weaknesses seem to be “cute”, his resentment and even hysterics - just short-term tantrum on the background of beautiful love. But after a year or two the same moments of irritation, negative emotions, complexity of internal world of a partner suddenly start to look unsustainable burden.

This is emotional fatigue. The first signs of its appearance become obvious in a year or two after living together. And the longer people live together, the stronger are attacks of the fatigue, repeated from time to time. Unfortunately nobody can we avoid it, but only cope.

If earlier you tolerated shortcomings of your partner, then some time later, you hardly could listen to his daily moaning about his bosses and boredom at work, and even not able to respond properly to his complaints about headaches. “Take a pill” - angrily growl you and move out of his view. The reason is simple: “Every day is the same”.

The secret of those couples who do not suffer from emotional fatigue is that they intuitively find ways to overcome it. The main thing - they do not stand at one place, they are developing, each of them separately and both together. It is impossible to avoid “wear relations” if you live all the time together and not leaving each other for a long time.

Here are some advices that could help you to maintain a pleasant family atmosphere for many years:

1. Give keys of access to your reactions to your partner in advance, without waiting until the problem arises. Use observation. Remember: you can not use your partner as a “sewer” for your emotional splashes.

2. Very often out of each quarrel partners manage to draw conclusions about “hopelessness” of their relationship and acting on emotional impulse almost break up. However already in a day the problem is solved, and it is forgotten about the threats “to break up forever”. Learn to keep to the rule of 48 hours. If there a quarrel won’t exhaust itself in that time - it can be taken serious and treated appropriately. In the meanwhile, till two days are not expired - does not make any serious conclusions from an argument. Learn to wait.

3. Respond is not always necessary. Men often recognize that the best way to respond to their concerns - lack of response. A woman sometimes, feeling that something is not right, starts inquire and in respond to the bad mood of her spouse, fall into melancholy. If he is calm for you, he can quickly solve his problems. You can offer assistance, but this is not the same as “share” his bad mood with your irritation or crying.

4. Change and develop - both together and individually. This is the best way to avoid emotional fatigue. You should learn solving problems rather than talking about them. There are no hopeless situations. A person, who did not progress in solving his or her difficulties in a year or two, can cause irritation of the partner. Try some new approaches to solve your problems, listen to the meaning of your partner. After all, another person is given to us as well to help to see ourselves from the side.