Relationship Advice

Some women worry a lot about their looks. However there is no need for this because
the views of men and women for their attractiveness vary. Women believe that external factors are of great importance. Men think in another way. As a special study of public opinion showed, the ideal woman for all men does not exist. It was proved that men of different age have different preferences.

Young people (to 25 years) valued the most women’s intelligence (!) - These men was 55% of those surveyed, at the second place - sexuality - 44% (and many young girls think that sexuality for men is at the first place …) And only the third is beauty - 42%.
Older men (from 25 to 40 years) too, place women’s intelligence first (!) - 47% of surveyed, the second was- care - 41% (perhaps with age, men are getting more selfish) and the third place - tenderness - 38 %.
And those who are older than 45 years, it seems, become even more egoistic, and women’s beauty doesn’t interest them at all. First place among the attractive features of women in their ranking takes care (apparently means taking care of them) - 65% (!!!), and the second place - intelligence- 40%.

Why, then, men run away from smart women? First they say that value female intelligence the most, but than..
Stupid woman puts away, but clever one if wants to be attractive should not be too intellectual (!) To men’s view a woman must be flexible and be able to adapt easily while communicating (by the way, men being absolutely loyal, believe that it is woman who must adapt but they can be direct).

The true horror make on them nervous, troubled, harassed, making tragedy of everything women (men are too concerned with their spiritual peace).
Hysterical women are terrible. But I would say every woman should be slightly “hysterical” to be interesting for a man. Under this I mean: emotional expressiveness, desire and ability to attract attention of a man, imagery and free thinking (that does not exclude fantasy), lightness and richness of associations, the ability to feel the audience (even if it consists of the only one man) and attitude of the audience to her; ability to charm anyone whether it is male or female, and much more. So these are exactly that features of woman which are so attractive to men.

Some women have a strong believe that woman is a diamond, and a man should be there to ensure her existence. Therefore she is not aiming for career realization, and perceives work as means to find a rich and caring husband, the ideal image which is always kept in mind.

The image of how should be the desired partner surely has every human being. But obsession with an idea of “Mr. Right” is an illusion that poisons life. You all the time compare “Him” to others and, of course, “He” would do everything better.

This prevents you to evaluate others men good points. Myth of the love which comes only once prevents to forge new ties after the previous failed. Believe that each of us has his/her own fate is dangerous, because it will completely remove the responsibility for our lives.
You do not imagine other scenarios, do not plan alternative routes. And become very vulnerable and dependent. The result is disappointment.

Love can be different, it happens not once and it can last for lifetime!

Do not wait till your partner make your dreams come true. Very often we endow our partner with those qualities that we admire, but which we lack. Therefore, the simplest way is to live in reality and become yourself the person of your dreams.

Do not refuse to drink coffee with a man just because he is not like your ideal. Practice shows that meeting with your prince does not guarantee future happiness with him. Therefore, take for a rule to pay attention to all the best that is available in person near to you and turn off the calculator, which matches your ideal and your new acquaintance. Trust your feelings instead: if you’re comfortable with him and interested, there is no need to get upset at the fact that everything goes not like in your ideal scenario.

To find somebody to love we need to understand ourselves first and to work out what we want. Think about reasons why you want to find a loved one and be truthful with yourself. Be aware of your life situation and probable hidden reasons or needs of why you would not like being along. I would like to note you, that unfortunately you would not be able to fix your problems finding somebody to fix them for you. You are the only one who created them in your life and only you can fix them. Search for somebody from the position of giving and not taking. Think about of what you can propose your future partner, how you can be useful for him or her or how you would make their life better. So, my dating advices to you:
- realise your strengths
- think how you can use your talents to attract the right person
- promote yourself – tell the world about your good features
- don’t put higher demands for your candidates
- no reasons other then finding a soul mate should rule your mind
Some of you may disagree with me: you know many examples when two people met each other and helped with their lives. Such examples are only true when they both helped each other to equal extend, and not ‘one way’.

Nearly every woman has a definite set of ideas about what is her future partner should be like. The older they get the more difficult it gets to break these stereotypes. She just sticks to her ‘ideal’ or what she thinks to be an ‘ideal’ and never questions her subconscious choice. Unfortunately, her attitude or model of behavior with men could be the course of failure to build a happy relationship.
The problem here is that that she had probably never analyzed her behavior in the past and never admitted her possible responsibility for relationship failure. Why to do this? Well, if you admit the truth to yourself it could be very helpful to realize what you’ve done wrong and how not to do it again. This process could be very painful and unpleasant. Most of us would need the help of a good friend or psychoanalyst.
The second big challenge is to find the strength to accept the truth and not to get angry and fall into denial. People who know themselves what is good or what is bad for them find it very difficult to take somebody’s advice without hesitation. And, finally, when you realize that it is not always only them to blame you can make any relationship that you go in to work.

Woman’s smile can do incredible things: win, seduce, attract. This is woman’s wealth and weapon, which can be used as long as you want. It is a pity that so many women do not understand this, they give everybody angry or glooms looks and then are surprised that no one likes them. A smile on your face is not only a decoration, it is also provokes response smiles and make people who see you happier.

Even if you do not want to you need to smile: nothing age a woman so as omitted corners of her lips. Smile and you save your charm for long time. By the way, it is easier to smile than to frown. When you frown, you force 43 muscles and when smile - only 17. Consequently, the more you frown, the more you will have wrinkles.

Try to control your mood during a day: be funny and cheerful. Smile to salesperson in a store, a person in the subway, who stood on your foot, to work colleague, which explains you your mistakes. And you will see quite another attitude to you. Then the world around you will become kinder.

Everyone knows how important motivation in every sphere of our life is. We used to apply motivation with regard to work or personal development and very seldom in terms of a relationship. Motivation is the force that gets you started. After a while if there no this force left relationship will resolve itself. At the first stage of a relationship both partners are motivated to act in certain way to get appreciation and other warm feelings from their spouse. And what happens with time? Actions slowly disappear; there is no need to prove anything to your partner, because he or she is already conquered. The only thing that is left from all the earlier efforts is good memories that the person near you was once able to attract you and probably could repeat the “in love phase” for you again if it would be a need for this. But there is no motivation; why to attract my own husband if he is already my husband? It is right; those in a stable relationship people rear bother themselves with much of an effort, but still sometimes complain about relationship becoming a habit and stagnation of feelings. You can make your relationship exiting instead of boring. Don’t be lazy. Everything is in your hands. And any change in life needs action and motivation. If you want to be in an interesting, loving, caring relationship you should act as you are interesting, caring, loving partner.

Energy which surrounds the person who loves himself carries positive, healing, attracting love of other people charge. The more you love yourself the more you attract people who love you. You should learn how to treat yourself good. Remember that your wishes, if they do no harm to anybody including yourself, are holy wishes. There is no need to suppress these desires. We were taught to love others and to love ourselves was considered to be selfish. But it is impossible to love others, if you do not love yourself. If someone loves another person more than him/herself and feels like a victim, make lots of sacrifices then here it goes not about love. This is about guilt, fear not to achieve your best, fear of loneliness, inability to live with in harmony with you. So, think about your relationship and answer yourself does it give you energy to achieve your life goals or makes you feel like a victim? In the second case you should free yourself from that feeling, listen to your wishes and do what is the best for yourself. Only in this way you can be happy and make happy your partner.

Any relationship can survive only when both partners work on it. Work on a relationship requires great effort and emotional strength. Many people totally miss the point of the meaning of working on a relationship. They think it is about the division of roles and tasks, when one of them for example performs household duties and the other earns money going to work. Strict rules, successful time management and reliability in doing these tasks make a relationship work. I won’t disagree that all the above mentioned things help to build a stronger and healthier relationship, but that is not the type of work I am talking about. I think work in the relationship means emotional commitment, better understanding of your partner and helping him/her with their life difficulties. This help doesn’t necessary involve money or any material support. This help often takes a lot of emotional energy from the partner who helps, requires self-confidence and love. If you don’t have much confidence or emotional strength you cannot help anybody whilst you are still absorbed with yourself. So, if you need to prove some of your points of view, trying to help your partner will end with just another argument. But if you strong enough not to get angry or offended whilst disputing, this means you are emotionally mature to put the other person first before yourself (as and when needed). You are capable of dealing with any situation and as a reward you will get a wonderful relationship.

Some women complaining that they cannot find or attract type of man they want. All of their previous and future partners have astonishing similarities with each other and the same annoying features of character. And a relationship itself goes according to one certain scenario. What to do in this case? How to get out of this circle? How to attract the man you would love to be with instead of hanging around with somebody not exactly a ‘man of your dream’? My advice to you: prior trying to change your partner, - change yourself. As a result your will accept your partner as he is or you will be forced to separate because of changes that happen in you. But the most exiting part of these changes that you will attract the right people into your life. It is very easy: describe on a list on paper your perfect relationship and the partner with whom you would like to spend all your life. Take your time and imagine your future perfect relationship to be real, and write down all your thoughts. The secret is to act in any aspect of your life as you want your imagined perfect man to act and to treat your present relationship as that one you described. So, treat your relationship as the most wonderful, loving relationship in the world and it will be like this. Treat partner as you would like to be treated and all your care and thoughtfulness will return to you doubled. The trick is not to expect something in return, doing things from heart.

What do you think about marriage agreements? When I hear about such contract I start to doubt if the two actually love each other or not. If they do love each other and trust and going to live all their live together why they need to do such back up plans? So, to my mind, such marriages are not about love. One or the other partner or both of them are fearful of if something goes wrong in their future marriage and they’ll need to separate. But if you are not sure about your future spouse why then to marry at all? Another aspect is that people nowadays acting on hidden barter system. Only few can genuinely give anything without expecting something in return – money, appreciation, love or whatever. All their ‘giving’ is about ‘getting’. Unless we get something back we feel used. And the feeling that lies behind such actions is fear but not love. The secret is to loose up and let go. When you stop worry about giving away money you will get freedom and peace of mind that allow you to be sure that you can earn them no matter what.

Yesterday while watching an old Russian film a crucial difference in attitude to marriage between western and east-European culture became clear to me. This concerns the role of woman in general in the society. Russian women have no choice in dating and then marring one or another man. They are chosen by men. It is no matter whom she likes or maybe loves – if that person won’t propose to her (till the certain age every woman should be married) she will marry without love to somebody that would “take her”. This desperation has deep roots in culture, religion and family traditions of the country.

There are many ways to find a successful business man but the most trusted and risk-free is to make him yourself. It is not a secret that man’s self-realization in life depends on what woman is next to him. Primary role in the relationship belongs to a woman, no matter how much we would want to give away this responsibility and hide. Relationship needs a lot of commitment and especially from women, because behind every successful man stands a successful woman. You can inspire success of any man and still be yourself. You can give your partner energy; he realizes his potential and reaches the success. In any woman should harmoniously co-exist four states: the girl, the Queen, housewife and lover. Once something is lost or ignored, the relationship falls apart. All these states correspond to the needs of men. And so, to transform a relationship woman must learn to distinguish when she should be a beautiful muse, and when - faithful friend. You should muster the art of compromise and to regard any situation not as a problem but as new opportunities. See every day as an occasion for joy, creativity and new prospects,- only this attitude will help you to built a wonderful relationship.

There are no ugly women; there are women who don’t take care of themselves. It is true for women of any nationality and any age. If she eats too much she will be overweight; if she exercises she will be nice and slim. It takes time and affords to take care of herself. Some of the most charming ladies I ever met might have not had perfect features – but their style, their manners and wonderful personality did a miracle.

Certainly physical concepts as woman’s figure, her hair, and her eyes are drawing man’s attention. Some resent researchers found out that one thing that attracts men most it is a woman’s smile. So, “qualifications” of beauty could be different for different men. Some of them beside physical attraction appreciate the way she talks, thinks or her attitude in general: her personality.

Each man has his own criteria for beautiful woman. When he decides to marry, he wants to be physically attracted to his wife for the rest of his life. And many women do a mistake here thinking that once they are married or get a child they don’t work hard to take care of themselves to be attractive. This is the point when men feel tricked or even betrayed: they’ve married slim and beautiful girl with angel’s character but are forced to live with overweight moaning wife. A woman should think twice here as her appearance weights heavily in a man’s decision to be with her.

In my opinion in our time has become increasingly difficult to find a good husband, a real man. Certainly, everybody can have his/her idea of what the true man should be currently. But here, I will try to identify the main qualities of this man from my point of view. First of all, and you would agree with me, that it can be a man, regardless of his age. I think there is no need to prove that the term real man is currently not associated with his sexual activity. Persuasion that this man never cries, I think is also wrong. Man can sympathize, suffer and rejoice as any living being.

1. The main distinguishing feature of this man – this is responsibility. Responsibility begins when a person is ready to assume all the consequences of his actions. This man is ready to admit his mistakes and correct them - and it’s called responsibility for him. But there is also responsibility for the family. He can do absolutely EVERYTHING for them. For him, there are no obstacles, no problems; there are only tasks that he solves the most effectively. He:
- confidently take decisions, assume responsibility and keeps his word;
- focused on the big goal achievable, the success divides to small things;
- quite intelligent, able to set and to complete his task by any circumstances;
-plans forward, initiate processes.
-acts appropriate to the cases; his words and emotions are laconic.

2. Our dreams are very similar, we work forward to the same goal. All these smaller goals lead us to the main strategic Objectives of our life. He is emotionally mature and spiritually rich and constantly growing personality. I know for sure that only communicating with him takes my breath away.

3. He loves me very much! I can feel this even at a distance. To him I am the first place priority - no work, neither parents nor something else, only me and our love! And my first priority is him! He constantly reminds me of his love, admires me, and provides signs of attention and respect. Do surprises and holidays do recall all the momentous dates of living together.

How does a marriage look today? Contemporary sociologists and psychologists disclose a principal change in a nowadays’ marriage. Men have come to accept -even celebrate - their wives’ careers and pay checks while learning, how to bathe the baby and cook the turkey. “It’s probably the real cause of half of all divorces,” states Magazine “Psychology Today”. The changes in women’s lives — their roles, ambitions, opportunities — have been considered from every angle. But men’s lives have changed too, in ways that are more confusing, more contradictory and often less welcome. Men did not ask to have their roles redefined.

Very few women could compare their lives to their mothers. For the most part, our parents and grandparents did not worry much about the emotional content of marriage. The lack of emotional connection certainly killed many marriages, and the right to personal fulfilment was part of what drove the women’s movement — which in turn changed marriage for the better. Women have so many dramatically different options in their lives. But where are men taking their cues about what it means to be a husband or a father? There is much less discussion in our society about that.

The guidelines for being a good husband used to be simple: provide, protect, maybe to chop firewood. Now wives still want all that in a mate -and more. Today’s wife wants a confidante and soul mate as well. It’s not as though they want men to be less goal-oriented or less interested in money. They’re asking for a breadwinner and a best friend. Women want their husbands to act like girlfriends. Today, simply not cheating on your wife or beating your kids doesn’t make you a good husband and father.

Men recognize that marriage requires compromise and sacrifice — but their beliefs about what’s most important are surprisingly traditional, and not necessarily in line with women’s beliefs. It’s not so much that men can’t provide the emotional support that women want as that men and women define emotional support differently. Marriage changes men. A married man works longer hours, moves up the career ladder faster and earns more money than his single peers. He spends more time with his relatives. He donates less to charity; he spends less time hanging out with his buddies and more time in formal social organizations like business and civic associations. Many contemporary fathers feel that they are an upgrade from the previous version. Warm, loving, generous fathers are lionized in the culture rather than scorned, the current generation of men is much better as fathers than their fathers were.

• Look for someone who shares your values. Any couple can expect to argue, a normal part of human behavior. But sharing similar values and goals can keep them from serious, destructive fights that can destroy the marriage. “When we had an argument, one of us always gave in,” Kessler says. “It was me!” both he and his wife chorus.
• Try to make your partner happy. People who love one another try to be understanding, considerate and generous. Your spouse’s happiness should be the most important thing in your life. Never, ever forget to say thank you. Say it for everything from clean socks to paying the rent or making the house note. Being appreciated goes a long way!
• Respect your partner’s opinion. You might not always agree, but you should listen. Get together from trouble. All relationships will present problems along the way, and events such as separation, illness or financial hardship will test a couple’s strength in dealing with them.
• Money matters. Pick a mate you trust, and trust him or her. Set your financial goals together, and work together to meet them.
• Keep love alive. Infatuation fades, but a couple can sustain attraction, enthusiasm and the comfort of sex over time. If you love each other and have a good communication, you can have a long, happy relationship.

You are in love and what to share your life with the man of your dreams. These are the right reasons to get married for you and your partner. One more important factor is realistic expectations from each other in marriage. Marriage is different from living together. It’s not necessarily better, but it’s different. Both of you will have different expectations of a ’spouse’ than of a ‘partner’ - often basing those expectations on what you saw of your parents’ married life. Successful couples talk deeply before the wedding about their expectations of each other, and if there’s serious disagreement - for example he wants kids, she doesn’t - they think seriously about whether to marry. After the wedding, successful couples also talk regularly to check their expectations of married life. If those expectations clash, they keep communicating until they have understanding and agreement.

Recently I was asked by my one of my friends a relationship advice about how not to get bored in a relationship with a partner. “It is very interesting question”,- I answered,-“ something for a new discussion in my Relationship Advice blog. Let’s consider this topic now. First thing first: there are no boring and not interesting people, there are non-interested listeners. People are far too busy nowadays to take the time to really communicate with anyone. Instead people just take it in turns talking and are too busy of thinking of what to say that they don’t really listen to the other person. We are so occupied with ME ME ME that have no time and wish to think about what other people have to say. We don’t ask, they won’t say- and after a while some women think that their man is boring to be with, shy or too quite,- is no good for such an active, “communicative” lady. So, before judge people, try to find out about them as much as possible. And in a healthy relationship partners are enjoying to find out more and more about person they are with like one can enjoy reading an interesting book. I know, it requires effort and commitment and hard work to ask questions and to be truly interested in that what the person has to say. But this is all about work in a relationship. If you won’t work the relationship won’t exist. That means if you consider your partner being boring, and the time spent with him- wasted time then it would be better for you to be single.

Feeling and emotions may be the most important aspect of our lives. If you are a woman who wants to get married you should know how men fall in love, how to awake and make his love grow.
Love is something that is much more than just an attraction. To love somebody and to build a serious relationship doesn’t mean to swim in a river of good emotions and feelings. It may be surprising for you but falling in love one can compare with deep emotional change like by coming to a new religion or becoming a patriot of his country.
You may think that men prefer careless irresponsible women to those whose love is true and thoughtful. And you are right. Careless, beautiful women are popular with men because they make everyone to consider them first-class women and to be with them to be a big luck. Here is another bit of advice: act so that the man whom you love thinks to have the honor being near you. Man you want to marry you will be you husband only in that case if you take the initiative in your hands. Like with everything in our life you cannot get it without putting any effort.

Men are not born to be husbands. They should be taught. One of the main methods to bring your man to idea of marriage is to become indispensable for him. It doesn’t mean slavery. Here are 10 rules how to be indispensable:
1. Help him with his work.
2. Cook his favorite meal.
3. Chose clothes for him.
4. Take care of his finance.
5. Help him to work out his political ideals.
6. Meet his family, friends, and business partners.
7. Be always near when he needs you.
8. Take active part in his activities, play tennis or go jogging even if you don’t like this.
9. Give him constrictive criticism, but only in private.
10. Tell everybody how wonderful he is, be is PR agent.
We all are very different; something that seems to be necessary for one person is annoying for the other. So, before trying to be indispensable for your man find out his needs and wishes. Remember the difference between wishes and needs. First deal with his needs than find out what his and what your wishes are. Marriage is like a travel in one boat with your spouse. You must be sure that you will row in one direction and that nobody will cast the anchor or start to row in opposite direction. The more you help each other the more chances that your marriage will be successful.

Men are taught to view their worth through their job. Most of us place a high level of esteem on our job title. When a man loses his job, he loses a great measure of his self-respect. That can make him feel unworthy of your love and cause him to retreat into a fantasy world where women love and desire him unconditionally, despite his lack of employment.

Losing a job is a very personal experience and the effect it takes on each financially and psychologically can range from non-existent to a person’s worst nightmare. Self-doubt, fear, uncertainty, loss of self are all common psychological effects of unemployment. It can also be the catalyst of major, positive change in both your lives if you deal together with the situation. He should know that he is not alone and you will together get through this.

The first thing I suggest you to try is communication. Let him know that you love him just as much as you did before he lost his job. Also let him know that you miss him and his turning to porn instead of you makes you feel unwanted and unloved. Support from family and partner is very important to sustaining efforts and re-establishing your place in the job market. Realise that you are his best friend now. The expression, “two heads are better than one,” is very true. Though for some stupid reason we all tend to take out our irritability, frustrations and fears on those closest to us, it is important to try to avoid such behaviors and do your best to sustain a mutually supportive relationship with loved ones.
Woman task in the situation when her partner loses his job is to take responsibility for their relationship and her partner well-being. Be loving and caring partner, make sure he eat right, sleep right, avoid excessive spending or reliance on drugs or alcohol. You may want to think through the exact timing for talking about things that are on your mind. And don’t let yourself become upset if the things you need to talk about are upsetting him — be empathic and patient.

Dating sites have proven it with time to be the right choice in matters of searching for partner and marriage. Hundreds of thousands of people are looking in Internet for love, romance or date. Dating site became an essential part of people’s everyday life. When we need groceries we go to supermarket when we need a soul mate and life partner we go to a dating site. “Seem to be very banal and absolutely non-romantic to choose love of your life on dating site like you choose for example potatoes in the shop” – this is one of pitiful excuses of dating sites opponents. They still believe for a moment in their life to come when they unexpectedly somewhere at the street or café meet their love. So they continue to sit at home or working place all the day pretending to socialize a lot and reducing their chances by excluding great possibilities of dating sites. But being honest with themselves and others can they say that they tried hard, tried everything to find someone on their side? I think people who create and use dating sites and introduction agencies are incorrigible optimists with the right attitude to life. They keep trying rather than give up after a couple of bad dating site experiences and will find their true love and life partner because they believe in it.

Attitude to money is one of the critical elements in a relationship because the money affects every part of life. If your attitude to money is different from you partner’s, then a troubled relationship is waiting for you.

Listen carefully, what is your partner saying when it comes to wages, costs, savings and financial obligations. He would probably expect the same thoughts from you. For successful relationships basic attitude to money of you and your loved one must match.

Learning about financial attitudes of a man I advice to concentrate your attention on the following five issues.

1. Anxiety for the future.
What is the amount required for a normal life?
Some men are quite happy with permanent jobs, giving very little revenue.
Others need more than a million on their account at the bank in order not to be concerned for the future.

2. The ratio of costs and savings.

You must determine for whether sacrifices he is able save up his money. Here are a few questions which must be answered.
- Would he prefer to live in a luxurious palace, or in a simple house, putting the difference in bank?
- Does he wear ordinary, out of fashion clothes, rather than buy new?
- Does he refuse of favourite food, if it is very expensive?
- If he drives the old car because the new one is expensive?
- Does he like to bargain?
- Reject whether he pay a little more when the need or decency to save time?
- Does all of his purchases defined by prices? Beginning with a very cheap lighter to the vine that he drinks?
- Whether he goes to the cinema only if tickets are cheaper?
- Would he prefer to freeze in winter rather than pay for better heating?
- Is he annoyed with the fact that he need to pay a hairdresser or a maid?
If a man refuses to pay for his pleasure, than with the same attitude he will treat your needs. He may even be against you pay yourself.

Perhaps, the situation will be reversed. You may be careful with money and don’t like a man who spends money for comfort, especially if they are yours or joint. Check out whether you will be able to agree on this point.

3. What to spend money on.

Ask your partner what he will do if he would suddenly inherit 100 thousand dollars. Ask him not for joke but for serious response. His response will point out what he prefers to spend money on.
•Would he buy himself lots of expensive cloth?
• Would he leave work for a few years for education, or implementation of any ideas or travelling?
• Does he invest all the money or part of them into business? Open his own business?
• Would he spend a part for charity?
• Or will consider the amount to be too small to be bothered about?

4. Family or money.

• Would he prefer to spend time in the family to additional earnings?
• What are his plans for a career and children?
• Will he work for 14 hours a day, travel a lot, leaving a child-bringing up primarily you?
• Does he prefer you to work or to sit home with children, or both simultaneously?
• Is he going to work till end of his forces to retire or resign as soon as possible?
Find out how much time he would give the family - and how much work.

5. If difficult times come.

Try to understand what will be your partner’s behaviour in case of financial difficulties. The source of information are his talks about himself. He explains how he acted in the past when he had money difficulties. You can expect the same, if hard times come back.

If his family was poor, or he received little money from it, it is likely that he will always strive to “survive” and treat his money conservatively. If, however, his parents were people with wealth, and he perceived the money for granted, his expenses can be quite unpredictable.

Any relationship could have its ups and downs, we used to this fact and overcoming such common relationship problems as gender role misinterpreting or communication breakdown by partners make their relationship get stronger and happier. Relationship without any problems is not a relationship its co-existence together with one’ partner. People who are looking for non-problem relationships usually end to be single. They are too lazy or too irresponsible to try to find out the reasons for problems in their relationships and to fix them. You cannot say it about people having long-term relationship with a partner from other culture. In addition to all common relationship problems they get specifically intercultural relationship issues that make them put much more effort to understand each other and to maintain their relationship. Now I am working on a project called Intercultural Relationship Issues. The work is built on mixture of Sociological, Psychological and Cultural Studies. I hope that identifying the problem is half-way solving it and my work will help couples with partners from different courtiers to look at their problems from different point of view and understand each other better from the cross-cultural perspective.

Many of us are very reliable employees or businessmen who treat their tasks with all the responsibly and seriousness. And what about your responsibilities in a relationship? Do you pay attention to asks of your partner? Do you hurry up to fulfill them as the high priority tasks or just let them go into one ear and come out from the other? When you promise something to your partner do you steak to your word or think that it is not very important and can wait? I just wanted to notice here that if you are not responsible in a relationship than it is not about love. One can be forced or “motivated” if you want to actions but nasty boss, good salary, hungry or whatever but between two equal people loving each other should be stronger emotional connection, dedication to one’s partner and only such relationship has all chances to be long and happy.

Being once again far away from my dear for some time created a miracle in my relationship: he is ever so nice to me and we treat each other as during first days of our acquaintance. These little moments of happy come backs made it obvious for me that in general two loving people need parting. But for how long - you decide. By some couples it would be enough just 8 hours working day to miss their loved one, by others a couple of weeks before strong wrench make a difference in treating their partner as a VIP. The secret of keeping your relationship interesting and attracting with the same partner life long is going and coming back (on business trip, holiday or any other occasion except breaking up with your partner -). To achieve the right balance in your relationship first you need to find out the longest period (more…)

In a relationship as also everywhere in life you get what you put into it. To make it work you should make an effort. I don’t believe that people life happy lives together only by chance, that they are so lucky to meet somebody that suite them perfectly and you not. Sure there is some attraction, common interests and love but only with these they won’t be staying long with each other. The secret of their “perfect match” is desire and effort to make their relationship so as they would like. Little things, small signs of thoughtfulness make the difference. Don’t be lazy to do something for your partner, he or she will appreciate this and it makes him/her special, loved, needed. Be creative, think what your partner would like, place yourself in his shoes. When you have ideas to surprise keep them it in secret – it makes the effect stronger and unforgettable. Just imagine that you both can feel like Christmas at least once a week with a little bit of effort. (more…)

It becomes more difficult to think about subjects that I did not touch on here. I wrote about importance of communication in a relationship, about how to attract men, about how to talk to him as well as about how to be caring with your partner. The theme of money and respect in the relationship I also considered in my entries. What else is life important for perfect relationship? Trust! This is a very important item, one of the most fundamental. To be honest with your love ones and to be able to trust them. Lack of trust is destroying all the good feelings as well as love.
Most people want to place the responsibility for trust in a relationship on someone else. They base their trust on how someone acts towards them. (more…)

The trend of women to marry and to live behind men’s wide shoulders is not new and almost all women married to rich men enjoy the privilege to share his money. Luxurious life, expensive clothes, car and holidays on islands, spa and usual tan … And this sweet “laziness” seem to rise them above the rest of people, whom they consider to be low-class. Often you can see nice young girl driving an expensive jeep talking on the phone. Who is she? Is she a wife, daughter, lover?

A woman decided to be dependant on her man, do nothing in her life, maybe to give birth to a child. But in her eyes you can see the thirst of this luxurious life. For work there are babysitter, made, cook because there is something more important (more…)

If you sometimes feel you are not good enough for the person you are with it shows that you suffer from insecurity. Insecurity in relationships happens to everyone at some time, but when it is constant life together can become very difficult. Nagging thoughts about the other person, jealousy perhaps, pessimism about your long-term prospects with your partner - all these are common side effects.
As the most studies on this topic say insecurity in a relationship is based on fear. Often fear of rejection. However, sometimes it can be fear of losing yourself in a relationship. People who suffer from low self-esteem assume that their partner notice their faults more than their good sides. (more…)

There is one thing that any woman should know: the most men are not courageous enough to come to woman that they like and to say her about this. A man finds it much easier to come to women, whom he considers not very attractive, than the one who is beautiful. He has less to lose if the first one would reject him. That is why all the ordinary looking women are married. What does any young man to avoid failure? He comes up only to girls who look friendly and are happy to meet looks with him. When it comes to relationships with women, men behave the same way as teenagers. They are coming to that women which as they feel won’t reject them.

Friendliness and affability. Think that every man deserves friendly words. (more…)

Do you want to be the master of your live, to fulfil yourself? Well, one possibility is a happy marriage with a man of your choice. If marriage is not the way of self-assertion, then why to marry? Because marriage can bring happiness and enrich your live. Maybe you are a woman, who has everything that she needs, except of her husband. As a starting point, recognize that you are worth person. To prove your significance you need nothing, neither a man, nor society to prove this. Nobody is allowed to say the opposite to you. (more…)

When two people meet and find mutual sympathy to each other is very important to understand what every one of them wants from the relationship and what plans they are building for life. And it is also important to know how his own objectives relate to the life objectives of his partner. Maybe you like the person next to you and he/she suites you in everything, but something prevents you from building further joint plans with your partner, you still live your own live and build your own future in isolation from a loved one. Here is hidden the meaning of this: why be with someone with whom you do not plan for a long relationship? (more…)

The key to a happy relationship are prise and criticism. If you criticize a man constructively, he will be pleased with your attention. You can and should criticize him, but you do not forget to praise him. He will be happy that you see all his weaknesses and yet love him. Find the proper balance between criticism and praise. You can not be a good parent, teacher or spouse, not knowing how to balance criticism and praise. To win his love, sometimes you just need to change your behaviour. Here we consider some behaviour patterns that will help to see your mistakes:
1. Woman who is saying nothing.
If you never praise or criticize a man he will consider you an empty space. You may think that no criticism is politeness or kindness, but he sees this as a weakness. If you never criticize he is think of you one of the 3:
• You are too stupid to see his weaknesses, and hence too stupid for him.
• You are not self-confident and hence too weak for him.
• He is perfect and therefore too good for you .

2. Admirer who only praises and never criticizes.
We were taught to be nice, not to say unpleasant things to upset others. (more…)

If women want to be loving and caring but don’t know how to show it and what to do it would be advisable to follow Margaret Kent advice and remember that men treat the best women of three professions. These are waitresses, nurses and stewardesses – that duty is to take care of them. It doesn’t mean that you should change your qualification or to do an additional nurses course and work as a waitress for practise at evenings. You need just to pay attention what exactly these 3 professions about and prove to your partner that you can be a stewardess, a waitress and a nurse at the same time. Be clever and to some extent critical (no more than his mother), know your worth. (more…)

Continuing the previous post about how to love yourself, here are some characteristics of self-confident people. If you practice to act like them for a start the confidence will come to you after a little while naturally. So, people with high self-esteem are remarkable for:
-confident motions;
- sure step;
- open view towards interlocutor eyes and not down or to the side. His/her chin is raised, back –straight and shoulders are straightened.
In communication acts he/she is as follows:
- can recognise his/her mistakes, open and calm respond to the criticism
- is interested in everything new, enthusiastically supports interesting ideas, not envy others’ creativity.
- with pleasure and not embarrassment receives compliments.
- doesn’t react offended to the jokes about him/her and is able to laugh on him- or herself.
- is able to safe dignity during stress.
- his/her own criticism is constructive. He/she direct and fair says others about their good points and faults, but never insult someone and never allow oneself to be boor even while the most miserable moods.
- refers to others with respect, recognizes the dignity of other people and shows only good intentions.

a 1. Our love begins with a thought. We become such person as we are thinking of ourselves. Thoughts full of love create life and relationship full of love.

2. To love somebody you should learn to respect that person. And first of all to respect yourself.

3. The secret of donating your love. If you would like to be loved you need to give it first.
Love means donating part of oneself, without any pay or conditions. Practice to express your kindness in everyday life. The secret formula of love is always pay attention to the fact of what you can give, and not to the fact of what you can take.

4. Friendship. To find your love, you must first find a true friend. To love means not to look at each other but look at the world in the same direction.

5. The power of touch. Touching is one of the most powerful expressions of love, destructive barriers and strengthening relationships. It changes both physical and emotional state and makes people more susceptible to love. Touching can help heal the body and warm the heart. When you disclose your embraces, you disclose your heart. (more…)

Continuing the theme of the previous post here I would give you some more ideas on how to build a perfect relationship. Most of this material origin from personal life observations and communicating with men on the topic.

Why to get married?

Situation nowadays is different than it was even 10 years ago. Less and less men see the necessity of a marriage. They prefer to stay single as long as possible because there is no reason of getting married, - from their point of view. (more…)

Sometimes it happens that beautiful and intelligent women are single and visa versa: women that are not very bright and nice looking are married and have happy families. So it becomes obvious that are not looks or degrees that attract men. What is that? Here are some simple rules, following which you will attract the man of your dream and keep him near you forever:

1 . We all have a chance to be happy. The key to this is the desire to love and to be loved.

2. You may want to marry very much. (more…)

According to statistic surveys online dating is one of the quickest and fastest growing industries in the internet. It brings incredibly high profits owing to its popularity. More and more people in the world every minute decide to find a partner in internet. The reasons for this are obvious: online dating works quick, meant exactly for people who are professionals and have no time to go out to meet somebody. One is clear by online dating- it brings two people together but it doesn’t guarantee further development of this meet. Whether you will become a couple and meet the love of all your life nobody can promise you this in Internet.

Money is such an emotionally loaded topic that few couples discuss it directly. For most people, money is never just money, a tool to accomplish some of life’s goals. It is love, power, happiness, security, control, dependency, independence, freedom and more. Men and women had dramatically different ideas about who does what with the family finances, and what their partners care about. Many individuals have a troubled relationship with money. Then, when they get into a couple relationships, money matters get explosive. Other people may have no problem with money individually; the trouble starts after they’re in the relationship. As a result of the money taboo, we grew up as most kids do: imitating my parents’ way of handling money without being aware of it. Men are raised to see the world as hierarchical and competitive. There’s always a winner and a loser. Women see the world as cooperative and democratic; they share. In addition, they are allowed–even encouraged–to be needy and vulnerable, while men are discouraged from such display. Despite many social changes, women are still paid three-quarters of what men are paid for the same job. When men make more money than their spouse, they believe their superior earnings entitle them to greater power in decision-making. By contrast, women who make more than their mates almost always desire democratic decision-making. In addition, men are still bred to believe they will be good at dealing with money–although nobody tells them how to do it. In that way, money is like sex; they’re just supposed to know. Women are raised to believe they won’t be good at it and, if they’re lucky, some man will take care of the details of money and investing. Money issues are different from other problems in relationships. They’re harder to talk about and harder to resolve because of our extensive cultural conditioning. Psychologists advice is that in couples communication the most important is empathy, or putting yourself in your partner’s place. It is almost always more important to be heard and understood than to have a partner agree with what you say.

Love and respect should always exist together. When you love somebody you make only good things to him or her. When you respect somebody you acknowledge the right of this person to decide about what is actually good for them. Respect in a relationship means that each person values who the other is and understands - and would never challenge - the other person’s boundaries.Combining both feeling together you help your partner to fulfill his/her choice (in case it doesn’t contradict to any of your own principles). But it is terrible if first exist without the second. –Loving partner becomes a maniac helper. Sometimes we missing in our relationship listening in non-judgmental manner, attempting to understand and affirm other’s emotions. Boundaries of self-respect more connected not with feelings but with set of values and beliefs in one’s life. If one partner’s self-respect is higher than the other’s it could easily lead to controlling and dominating behaviour of that one person. When someone loves you, you feel valued, respected and free to be yourself. You shouldn’t be made to feel intimidated or controlled. Someone who loves you should help you to feel good about yourself. This is the main key to a healthy relationship.